Craving to be Beautiful

Wow it has been a while since my last post! So, I went and saw the new Narnia movie tonight with a friend and it was awesome. It had some really big truths that helped me in the season I have been walking in lately, and yes my dear friends it has been a while, but here are some things the Lord has shown me this evening after watching this movie.

In the season of life I am in, and it was the weirdest thing because I thought this right as I was pulling into the movies parking lot the title to call this entry because I had sort of decided to write the blog before I knew what I would write and it was this title that came into my mind: Craving to be Beautiful, but little did I know that the movie I was about to see would minister to my soul and enlighten my heart on this very subject.
Lately, especially when coming home for some reason, more than ever do I crave to be beautiful. In the most transparent words I can think of- I desire to be wanted, and I have been that way ever since I can remember as a little girl. All girls do. We desire to be desired, to be longed for, to be wanted, captivating, breath taking, and adored- it doesn't matter what personality type a girl may have, it never ceases to fail that she wants more than anything to be wanted. It is for this reason that many of us struggle with insecurity because it is rare that we have ever completely reached our goal. In a crowd of females, it can be inferred that 100% of them have an ideal of what is beautiful, and it can also be inferred that 100% of them are not thinking of themselves. Most every woman, myself included, has struggled with craving to be beautiful, to be what we think is beautiful, and usually it is not us. Why do we do that? What is the root of the problem? The problem is that we doubt our value. I have doubted my value numerous times, and so has every other girl on earth. All of us have felt the cold chains of insecurity, the ones that bind us to a dark place of whispers that constantly tell us, "You're not good enough; you are ugly; you are fat; no one wants you if you look like that- you better fix yourself up- you better not let them see you without makeup, then they'll never like you." Ladies, if there is anyone more guilty of believing such lies, it is me. In high school, the fear of being ugly plagued my mind so deeply that it was like years of friend-convincing therapy to get me to come to school with just no mascara on, and I can't lie- the thought of having no makeup on in some situations still horrifies me. God has brought me a long way, but I still have quite a bit of believing to do. And why do I say believing? Because that is the root of craving to be beautiful- the craving comes from believing lies. I believed lies, and if you struggle with this too, then so do you. We want to be our ideal of beauty so bad that we are willing to replace ourselves just to be it... just to be wanted. We think the ideal we have thought up in our minds is more beautiful than ourselves but what we are really thinking is not that our ideal is more beautiful, but rather more desired. So you, like me and the rest of the females on this planet, would rather wish yourself completely away as if you didn't exist at all because you think that you are not valued. If you find yourself sometimes thinking anything like I have found myself thinking in some of my deepest ruts, you may have thought to yourself, "Who would want to be you? No one wants you." The Lord showed me that the problem is, we believe a lie. We are not what we have been tempted to believe we are. We desire to replace ourselves with our ideal, but we fail to realize that Christ wants us, not our ideals. God doesn't want your ideal, He wants you. He chose you, not your ideal; He loves you, not your ideal; He died for you, not your ideal. You are who He calls by name, not your ideal; you are who He fearfully and wonderfully made, not your ideal; and you are who He values, not your ideal. You are more valuable than what you think is worthy of value! Can you smell that? It's the stench of the lie from the enemy- he has fooled you into believing you are not valuable! 
The enemy seeks to kill, steal, and destroy you! It is by no coincidence that insecurity is rooted in the belief that you are the problem... well duh- you are his problem! Why? Because you are God's most prized possession- His child, and nothing makes the enemy more furious than when God's children walk in the realization of His love for them and their value. Why? Because it's like their bullet proof- no fiery arrow of doubt can make them fall. But does that stop the enemy? no. Satan will do whatever it takes to kill, steal, and destroy us, and sadly he does so by giving us our darkest desires, in which at the same time are our greatest fears. We crave to be beautiful because we are terrified of being replaced, forgotten, unnoticed, and ultimately undesired- and it is here that we are weak- where we have no faith. We can not let the enemy know our greatest fears or he will become them. For example, ever notice the kid in that movie that wants to be the most popular kid- like that movie with Nick Cannon where he pays that girl to be his girlfriend so he can become popular? What became his greatest fear in the movie? To become unnoticed again. He risked his friends, his family, even the girl who he initially was in love with, just to maintain his popularity. But this kid wasn't maintaining his popularity, rather what he was really trying to do was prevent his fear of becoming a "nobody" a reality again. He fought his greatest fear the entire movie, but his greatest fear was also his greatest desire. You desire to be wanted not because you are scared you are not wanted, rather you desire to be wanted, because Christ has given you that desire for the purpose of leading you to Himself. Why? Because He desires you! But when you crave to be your ideal, rather than be satisfied to be you- the one Christ wants- it is because you've believed the lie that you are not wanted. Your ideal is your dark desire, and you follow the enemy down the path of what is actually simultaneously also your greatest fear just to fulfill it- which is, to replace yourself. The enemy can make your most dark desires a reality, but realize exactly what that reality entails before you bargain for it, for what may seem like your desire is being fulfilled is truly your greatest fear, only disguised as your desire, becoming a reality. Realize- your every dark desire is not based on truth, rather it is based on and fueled by lies. But something I realized tonight is that they are not initially dark, rather God intended them to be within us for the good, but they become dark when they become twisted.
Something we do not realize is that from one strong desire comes many little desires to achieve our one big desire. Haven't you ever wondered why girls love shopping for clothes, playing dress up, getting their nails and hair done, and putting on makeup? Because these are the many little desires we have to achieve our one big desire, and what is our one big desire? To be beautiful, aka: to be desired. The desires that God has given us make us who we are, but they were never given to us to fulfill, rather they were given to us to lead us to Him. God gave you the dreams and the desires of your heart for you to give them back to Him, because He is the only One who can fulfill them. God designed us this way for this reason, and thus the desire to be beautiful is a divine one. How can that be so? Because Christ placed it within us knowing it would lead us to Him because the desire is created in such a way that only He can fulfill it. For it is Christ who fulfills all things. This is why God's word warns us of our desires because they are that powerful, for if they become dark they will make us dark. The way the desires God has given us become dark is when the enemy twists the truth and tells us that they are not fulfilled. It is not a coincidence that your greatest fear is your greatest desire unfulfilled. But recognize that perfect love casts out fear because those who are in Christ Jesus- their desires are already fulfilled. This is why we can walk in the realization of our value and no longer have to crave to be beautiful, because Christ has already fulfilled that desire. We were designed by a Creator who designed us to long to be wanted, to crave to be desired, so that He could satisfy the craving. We must trust that He is the fulfillment of our every desire and dream, and we must take courage when the enemy challenges that truth.
 The key is to believe God and to let go of the lie, which is the ideal, that is the foundation of your dark desire. Let it go ladies! I know personally how hard it is, but in Christ we have strength to endure the pain of our fears so we can see that He, our Lord, and truth, is right after all. Trust and believe that you are already fulfilled in Him. You crave to be beautiful because the enemy has enticed you into believing that you must work harder to be what is wanted and has become the option- the ideal- that you believe is wanted more than you. But it is not true! Satan dangled the image of your ideal and told you she was prettier than you, smarter than you, more sufficient than you, desired more than you, wanted more than you, and loved more than you, but the truth is... Christ died for you, not your ideal! Our first mistake was taking the bait and believing the lie, and our only solution is letting go of the bait and believing Christ. Let go of your ideal, forfeit it, and realize you are more valuable. You desire to be beautiful because you desire to be desired, and you were created with the desire to be desired because your Christ intends on fulfilling that desire if you will let Him, because your Christ desires you with an everlasting love. Christ fulfills that desire. How? Because He wants you. Because of Him, you are beautiful, because in Him, you are fulfilled. So embrace your fulfilled desire, walk in it, and listen closely to His voice as He says, "No longer crave to be beautiful, but be satisfied in my desire for you, for you are who I want... yes my daughter, it is you, and there could never be a more beautiful you."


Psalm 139:
¹ You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

Isaiah 43:1-3:
¹ But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
      O Israel, the one who formed you says,
   “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine.
 ² When you go through deep waters,
      I will be with you.
   When you go through rivers of difficulty,
      you will not drown.
   When you walk through the fire of oppression,
      you will not be burned up;
      the flames will not consume you.
 ³ For I am the Lord, your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

1 John 4:18-19:
"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first."

Ephesians 2: 9-10:
"Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Check out this song by Johnny Diaz called, "More Beautiful You." It is an awesome song about beauty and it speaks truth. It's one of my favorite songs!

CHALLENGE: Believe you are beautiful because you are desired by Christ this week. See how it affects the way you live and interact with others. Take note of the difference in your prayer journals, and ask the Lord specifically to show you the areas in your life where you've specifically believed the lies of the enemy. Ask God to help you believe you are beautiful, and to discover who YOU are, and ask Him to show you more about who He has created you to be in Him.